Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Give me a Mesozoic Mind

I love dinosaurs! Why? Because out of all the monsters of fantasy, out of all the creatures of horror, and out of all the beasts of legends, Dinosaurs were REAL! These animals ruled the Earth 65 billion years ago and all we have to remember them by are bones, our immaginations, and Hollywood's renditions.


In 15 days, the newest Hollywood dinosaur film since Jurassic Park III will hit theaters. On Wednesday, December 14th Peter Jackson's "King Kong" opens nation wide and I plan to be there. So any folks that wish to join me are welcome to tag along. Until then I'll bust out the raptor mask and dust off my Jurassic Park toys and try and keep my dino-urges to a minimum.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Vin Diesel Returns

Just when you thought it was safe to rent "The Chronicles of Riddick", I go and find more . . .

LITTLE KNOWN FACTS ABOUT VIN DIESEL

  • Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.
  • When Vin Diesel drinks pee, his asparagus smells funny.
  • Crop circles are Vin's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to just lie the &@$% down.
  • Vin Diesel was scheduled to be Stalone's stunt double in Rambo, but he was replaced after refusing to wearing a parachute when jumping from the plane.
  • Vin Diesel once ate the entire cake at a bachelor party before anyone could tell him there was a stripper in it.
  • The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when Vin Diesel punched himself in the face.
  • Vin Diesel invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

It's DAVE!

STOP mailing Dave!!!! His address is now invalid. He will be getting a new address soon, so stay tuned.

Also, Dave, We need to know exactly when your coming back and which day you wanna party, cause. . .

Kristen Barnes presents. . .

DAVE FEST 2005
in Donovan's Basement!

A celebration of all things Dave!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Cartoon Network? It's Glory Now Up in Flames.

I haven't been this depressed since Disney fired over 200 2-D animators to make room for CG-toons.

I'm speaking of course about Cartoon Network's decision to no longer be 100% cartoons. Sunday was the begining of the end when they aired Who Framed Roger Rabbit, which I have no problem with, being one of the greatest movies of all time and half animated. The real doom starts next week when they air the not-so-good movie Small Soldiers. Other movies planned are "The Goonies", "Honey I shrunk the Kids", and "Batman" (airing alongside the action toons on Saturday night).

These are some great movies, they just don't belong on CARTOON Network! Remember what happened when MTV started showing more than music television?!

But wait, it gets worse!! Movies are not the only non-toons coming . . .
"Cartoon Network, in a move that should surprise everyone, is planning on creating new live-action series plots like sitcoms and action projects networkwide, not just the Krofft Brothers homage being worked on at Adult Swim. They're doing this because they claim that kids aren't interested in cartoons anymore and drawn towards Disney Channel and Nickelodeon live-action fare.

According to some higher ups at the network, the word "cartoon" is not limited to cel, stop-motion, or computer-animated productions, but is rather a state of mind."

R.I.P. 1992 - 2005 Cartoon Network's Original Mission Statement. Now all we have to look forward to is another station that's all too similar to Nickelodeon or Disney.

Now I know why some people want to commit suicide. . . I guess I'll continue with life or until Cartoon Network airs Shrek (God I feel dirty just typing that word!)

Friday, November 11, 2005

Little Known Facts About Vin Diesel

  • There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.
  • If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
  • Vin Diesel can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.
  • When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
  • There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Screw you, team.
  • In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  • Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This SUCKS!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.
  • Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  • Vin Diesel once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.
  • Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
  • When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.
  • Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
  • It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
  • On his birthday, Vin Diesel randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
  • Vin Diesel can divide by zero.
  • You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
  • Not only was Vin Diesel the first to shoot a baby out of a cannon, he was the first to eat a high velocity baby shot out of a cannon.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Thank You

I'd like to thank everyone who attended this years Halloween party. You all helped make this years party the biggest and best party yet. This year we had our biggest turn out of excellent costumes, congratulations to all our winners, and next year we plan to keep the same judging system. If anyone has any suggestions or complaints please post them, we want next years party to be even bigger and better!
Special thanks go to Jen for bringing a tub O' delicious cookies, Anna for bringing cider, and Phil . . . wait, no ... he cursed my home with DR. THUNDER!!!!!!!
Anyway, pictures are on their way and if Cait is reading this, the mystery prize you left behind is waiting for you.