Monday, December 26, 2005

2005 Movies in Review

If you don't know I like keep the movie ticket stub when I see a movie (FREAK!). Anyway I was looking through all my stubs and pulled aside all the films I saw in 2005. So here they are from best to worst.

1. Batman Begins
It's Batman without rubber nipples! Plus it's dark and spooky, the characters are pretty true to their orgins, and Gotham City looked beautiful.

2. King Kong
The first hour stunk, then they reach Skull Island. With non-stop action, incredible visual effects, Dinosaurs, and a Flintstones style Highway pile-up; King Kong is the best Creature Feature of the Year.

3. Kung Fu Hustle
The only way to make a Martial Arts film appeal to me is to make it like a cartoon, and Kung Fu Hustle did just that. With over the top fight scenes and a roadrunner/coyote style chase, this film was awesomely silly.

4. Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-rabbit
Claymation at it's finest! Wallace & Gromit live on in their first full length movie with freakin cute bunnies. The movie was entertaining, the visuals were a treat to watch, and there was even boob/melon type humor (always a plus.)

5. Zathura
I went into this film not expecting much at all but I was surprised how good it actually was. Zathura is a semi-sequal to Jumanji, it doesen't follow the same characters but it exists in the same universe. The visuals in this film impressed me due to the combination of computer and guys in suits. The lizard men were most impressive, because they were animatronic suits with the actor's real head CGIed out.

6. Mirror Mask
Mix together Alice in Wonderland and the Wizard of Oz and you would get something similar to
Neil Gaiman's Mirror Mask. Combining live action with computer animation, Mirror Mask provides a fantasy world that's easy to lose yourself in.

7. Corpse Bride
Most people try and compare this film with Nightmare Before Christmas, which ruins the movie in my opinion. With a "nightmare free" mind this film has stunning animation and a fun fairy tale. The only downside is that the film is too short.

8. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
It can't hold a candle to the original film but "Charlie" had it's moments; such as the Danny Elfman Oompa Loompas and a room of angry squirrels. Tim Burton also did an excellent job of really making you hate the other children and their parents.

9. March of The Penguins
A nature documentry in the theater? Who would of immagined? Anyway the penguins were cute and fell down a lot, nuff said. (It does make for a promising sequal - March of Da Peguins 2: Death March! I hope they get Vin Diesel to play the rebel learder penguin).

10. Sin City
Sin City has an all star cast, great visuals, and a comic book effect on the audience. It takes balls to film a movie in mostly black & white and hope it appeals to the target audience, Bravo!

11. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
This movie was fun, but then again, I didn't read the book.

12. Star Wars Episode III
A bunch of people die, Wookies have a battle, very little Jar Jar, and Yoda kicks butt. This movie wouldn't of been as good if it wasn't for the animated Clone Wars by Genndy Tartakovsky.

13. The Fantastic Four
The only reason this movie was any good is because I saw it at the drive-in theater where we got to talk over it. Fantastic 4 is pretty average in the way of comic book movies, it's not as good as Batman but not as terrible as Catwoman.

14. Aeon Flux
Not nearly as good as the animated shorts but still an O.K. movie. Aeon is full of a bunch of futuristic mumbo-jumbo but provides some neat fight scenes and some nice eye candy visuals.

15. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, & The Wardrobe
This film is basically Lord of the Rings Lite: Similar taste with half the calories. The visual effects are nice but become awkward at times and the religious theme become a downer after a while.

16. War of the Worlds
Honestly I think Spielberg's best films are his Sci-Fi/Thriller films. (Jurassic Park, Jaws, Indiana Jones, etc.) War of the worlds his one of his first in this genere in a while. While this film has monsters chasing people as prey it also has boring scenes with Tom Cruise dealing with his family and characters show up in the end that should of stayed dead.

17. Constantine
It was O.K. not great. Never really connected with me.

18. Harry Potter: And the Goblet of Fire
I still don't get what the big deal is all about!? Harry Potter is a little whinny Wizard boy with a no-nosed wizard man trying to kill him. He loves playing flying soccer and supporting his 12 year old friend to date 21 year old Russian body builders! The only neat part about this film was a dragon, other than that it was filled with plot holes, skips in time, unessasary scenes with useless characters, over use of CGI animation, underage dating, and a hedge maze that I wish contained Jack Nicholson crazy with an Axe. Bah! Bah I say to Hairy Pothead and his lame movies.

19. The Brothers Grimm
I have nothing good to say about this movie. They took what could of been a really cool movie and took a big steaming dump on it. The visual effects were lame and didn't fit in with the movie. The animated characters looked animated and failed to bring any level of believibility to the audience. They butchered all the classic fairy tales by trying to make them one big tale and characters like the gingerman blob and pregnant spider horse were so goofily stupid-lame (yeah it's a word . . . now) that they sparked a new level of hate in my mind. I wish many ill things upon all that helped create this stink feast, especialy you Matt Damon . . . May Bob have Mercy on your Soul!

5 comments:

Jen said...

He's here... The Batman!
I finally got it so now I can watch and stare at my skinny scary crazy scarycrow man over and over and over and over again!

Donovan "Slinus" Jones said...

I guess I'd be the same way if they put Harley Quinn in it. Mmmmmmmmm .. . . puddin'!

Raven said...

Hay look my list is like so different from donovan's
one major differance is the placement of king kong and batman.
peace out.

1- Charlie & the Chocolate Factory
2- Batman Begins
3- Wallace & Gromet
4- Mirror Mask
5- Zathura
6- Sin City
7- Corpse bride
8- King Kong
9- March of the Penguins
10- Kung fu Hustle
11- Hitchers Guide to the Galaxy
12- Star Wars Episode 3
13- Aeon Flux
14- War of the Worlds
15- Fantastic Four
16- Constantine
17- Brothers Grimm
18- Chronicles of Narnia
19- Harry Pothead and some stupid goblet

Jen said...

With any luck we'll get some Harley action in the next movie.
Hello Mistah J.

Scott said...

I think war of the worlds should have been higher on the list. simply because, right before things started to explode, the main charater says "wana see something cool". this is an obvious refrence to Maxwell and his many explosions; that has to kick it up at least one notch