Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Move Over Vin Diesel . . .

Apparently Vin Diesel isn't the only one with random Facts on the internet. Thanks go to Liz for sending these in.

Random Facts about Chuck Norris.



Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very smart.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.

Chuck Norris went looking for a bar but couldn't find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

3 comments:

BanannaGirl said...

Norris sucks.... Diesel will kill!

Who-what? said...

Random fact: Chuck Norris doesn't really have a chin. Behind his beard is actually another fist.

where-when? said...

Another random fact: Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on. He's not afraid of the dark; rather, the dark is afraid of HIM.